FIFTY SHADES OF RED ~ A an erotic author's embarrasing foray into audiobook recordings #ASMSG #Erotica

I just had to reblog this wonderful piece by my dear friend and editor, Patricia Knight: Fifty Shades of Red~My Virgin Attempt At Recording An Erotic Audio Book 03/08/2014        Beginning this Monday, I am spending five days this week in a professional sound studio recording my erotic sci/fi romance, Hers To Command, for audio book. I'm totally over the moon...sorta.       I've always had a theatrical bent, and no, I don't mean I'm a drama queen, though my sweetie and some very close friends might beg to differ. I've had the lead in my high school plays and actually met my hunky hubby doing summer stock dinner theatre. I'm formally trained in voice and have sung for years--both solos and in choirs and the odd community theatre musical.  I figured, hey, I'm a good reader. I can act a little. I've recorded excerpts for my books and some of my fellow authors'. I'm not embarassed speaking or acting in front of people. I can say, "fuck" and "cock" without blushing. This will be a piece of cake! I'll save all sorts of money. I'll be able to put the proper dramatic emphasis on all my characters' lines. I won't mispronounce their names or the places in the story.  Just an all-around win!      I started preparing my "script" and reading it aloud to mark places where I wanted to breathe and places where I didn't want to breathe--and then I heard the words I wrote spoken.            "Between tortured animal grunts, Doral whispered, “Oh Goddess, oh Goddess!” repeatedly. His engorged, be-ringed cock, glistening with Fleur's slickness, violently jerked against his flat stomach then strained away. Doral hung in the middle of an intense, dry orgasm, driven to the point of madness. The gold cockrings glowed with dull light, cruelly sunk deep into the base of his cock and balls."         Gulp. Ah...that's a little graphic. Geeze Louise...who wrote that?       All of a sudden, my confidence is taking a trip south. I'm not sure I'm prepared to read my erotic romance to male audio techs, even though my publisher assures me they are, like, guys, okay! I mean what guy doesn't like to listen to hot sex?       It's one thing to write the words. I don't  see the reader. They can't see me. There are layers of privacy between us. But it's different when you are reading your work aloud. It's immediate intimacy. There are no veils. [I did ask if I could show up at the studio in a burqa. No, I was told. It (the burqa) would alter the sound quality.  Sigh.]       There are a large group of folks out in the world who do this as a profession. I think it's called "voice over". My hat's off to them. Between trying out various voices for my dozens of characters--why, oh, why, didn't I write this in first person--and trying to take a big enough breath to get that whole line in without gasping ... I have bitten off quite a large mouthful and it's proving difficult to chew. It's sort of like being in an x-rated movie and you get to play all the parts and make the all sound effects.        I will be blogging my virgin flight into the world of audio books this week and sharing my exhilarations and embarassments with you. You are invited to laugh and learn right along with me.   My next installment: Day one - Etiquette for Sound Studios ~or~ Don't Touch the Microphone!

Catch Patricia Knight at her website:  http://www.patriciaaknight.com/

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MY THOUGHTS:

I have long considered how to handle audiobooks. I encountered this very same issue on an internet radio interview.

I had sent the interviewers an email with an excerpt of my novel, a particularly racey scene. There were 3-4 hosts of this interview, all taking turns asking me questions, and I am pretty sure they were drawing straws to see who would get stuck reading this wicked excerpt.

They chose a man to read it (shortest straw and all that), and he butchered it so badly, I was physically cringing, wishing I could somehow take it all back. But, this was being recorded, live.

At that moment I realized it would take a special kind of person to be able to read my novels aloud. *Definitely not me*

Patricia actually read two of my excerpts for recordings that I now have on Youtube, and they turned out awesome!

So, if anyone can do it, I know she can. Burka or no Burka, even in a paper bag and blindfolded, I know Patricia can do this.

:)