KISS OF THE DAMNED ~ A Stylish, Sexy #Vampire #Romance #FilmReview #ASMSG

Confession time: I am a vampire film connoisseur. There are very few decent vampire films I have not seen. Actually only one, because I can't get it on streaming ... yet.  So, in truth, I am a bit biased.

KISS OF THE DAMNED cover art isn't bad really, but, its not a cover that would have ever drawn me to the movie. It was the Amazon alsoboughts that sucked me in.  Kiss of the Damned showed up in the alsoboughts of several good vampire films, so, I watched the trailer and was intrigued enough to one-click on the streaming video.

But if the cover hasn't convinced you, try this on for size:

What I got for my oneclick was a brooding, atmospheric and highly erotic vampire romance thriller. Suprisingly good, without being the slightest bit cheesy or campy. This is one of those rare films that uses zero special effects, yet manages to precisely convey the dark, erotic and deadly nature of vampires. 

Call me impressed. 

I would love to see a sequel to this film, shit, a series of sequels.

This is one of those rare moments when I absolutely love Indie filmmakers for doing a movie that Hollywood would never do, yet in so many ways its far superior to the standard vampire tripe coming out of Hollywood.

To be honest, this kind of drama is what the Dark Shadows remake could have been, if the filmmakers had taken it seriously instead of churning out a raunchy, slapstick comedy. This is vampire erotic drama AT ITS BEST.

The rundown:

We have a writer, Paolo, on vacation in the countryside, trying to use the solitude to write a screenplay. He sees our unusually alluring redhead vampire, Djuna, at a video rental store, and follows her outside into the rain. She does her best to push him away, while simultaneously seducing him. They end up at her home, an out of the way mansion, and things get a little steamy -- then wham! She shuts him down and puts him out the door. 

It was for his own good of course. These vampires kill people when they feed, more often than not. And as we learn later in the story, leaving a bitten victim to turn is a no-no, unless you are willing to take on responsibility for shepherding the new vamp into the fold.

Paolo is utterly smitten with vampire Djuna, and simply will not take no for an answer. They have the most interesting vampire makeout scene ever -- when she inadvertently bites his tongue and starts sucking the blood right from his mouth. 

From then on, Djuna has no choice but to reveal the truth, while naked and chained to the bed. (Never has a more interesting vampire revelation scene been filmed -- never)

Paolo is fascinated, aroused, and proceeds to play with fire by unchaining this smoking hot naked vampire, and having one of the best vampire sex scenes ever filmed. True Blood directors could learn a thing or two from this dark, sexy film. And, of course, Paolo is bitten, and subsequently turned.

He's alarmingly calm about the whole deal. But, the plus side is that Paolo now understands the allure of the violence his Agent wants him to write into his screenplays (before being turned he was some kind of literary prude about violence).

Seems like it was filmed in the European countryside, considering Djuna is French and has an accent, and the overall retro 70's-erotic-horror feel of the film, but, its actually rural America, with a couple scenes of philosophical American vamps sitting around lamenting about how it sucks that they must hide out from the world.

Raven-haired Mimi is the in-your-face complication to an otherwise idyllic love story.

Mimi revels in the savagery of her life as a vampire. She hunts human prey, seduces them, and kills them right in mid-orgasm (True Blood can suck on that one). If I had to choose my death, that's not a bad way to go really. Mimi, the bad sister vamp, constantly subverts Djuna's peice of mind and fragile control over her savage urges. Mimi is the temptress who makes everything in life interesting, but also destroys the relationships of everyone around her.

She's the perfect vampire whore you love to hate, and yet Mimi's so brutally honest about who and what she is. Far more honest than Djuna.

A note on the soundtrack: GRUNGE AWESOMESAUCE. The feedback heavy industrial grunge music grinds us through these dramatic, brooding scenes, a totally unique style of soundtrack for such a severe film. For a guy like me who grew up with the alternative grunge of Nirvana and industrial grunge of Helmet and Ministry, who happens to write vampire erotic fiction, this soundtrack was simply perfect in every way. The music made the movie just that much better.

I give KISS OF THE DAMNED, a solid Five Fatass Stars: ★★★★★

En Fin, I leave you with an alternate cover to the movie, which is far better than the dvd cover art:

And if you want to know a little something more about my own peculiar brand of vampire erotic romance thriller, check me out at TWLUEDKE.COM.

FRIGHT NIGHT 2 ~ An honest review #Smexy #Vampires #Horror #Thriller #Nov #ASMSG

 

The Blurb:

By day Gerri Dandridge is a sexy professor, but by night she transforms into a real-life vampire with an unquenchable thirst for human blood. So when a group of high school students travel abroad to study in Romania, they find themselves ensnared in Gerri's chilling web of lust and terror. Charley and "Evil" Ed must stop Gerri from drinking and bathing in the blood of a "new moon virgin," which just so happens to be Charley's ex-girlfriend, Amy. They enlist help from Peter Vincent, the vampire hunting host of a reality show called "Fright Night," to drive a stake through Gerri's plan and save Amy from a fate far worse than death.

The Review:

Was it horrific?   Kinda.

Was it sexy?   Not like I wished.

Was it intense?  Mostly.

Was it a decent vampire film?    Kinda.

I admit, I never saw the latest 2011 remake, Fright Night, with Colin Farrell.  So, my evaluation of Fright Night 2 is totally independent of any other versions of this movie, even though I vaguely recall the old Fright Night films from the late 80's.

Was it worth watching as a DVD rental? YES. The movie was made for DVD, never even hit the theaters.

Straight up:

I wish I could read this novel. But there is no novel. Somebody needs to take the script and adapt it to a novel, which could be so much better than the film. Better dialogue, better exposition, better everything.

So, I want a novel that has never been published.

Sorry, I'm a vampire fiction junky.  

This movie should have been better in so many ways, but, before I go there, I am going to talk about what Fright Night 2 did right:

1)  Sex APPEAL 

This film had SHIT-TONS of sex appeal: a butt naked girl hanging upside down to drain her blood into a tub.  Very Inspiring.  We get a couple of almost lesbian vampire scenes (could have been way better--barely scraped the tip of that iceberg).  Then there's the smoking hot Gerri Dandridge played by Jaime Murray, a.k.a. Elisabeth Bathory, the embodiment of what every female vampire should be.  

Gerri got everything right.  She is the only reason to watch the movie.

2)  Teen Angst

Plenty of teen angst.  Probably more than I wanted, but it was the prerequisite stuff. You gotta have a college kid pining over his girlfriend.  Its a written law somewhere in vampire films.

3)  Interesting and unique facets of the vampire mythos:

This film was chocked full of Romanian vampire history.  I LOVED THAT.  I am a total vampire history junky.  This movie did FULL justice to vampire mythos of old.  Even if it was based on early versions of the myths surrounding Elisabeth Bathory who literally bathed in the blood of virgins. Yep, that shit really happened. Not much of a stretch to build a vampire story out of that. And we get plenty of the wonderful naked Gerri bathing-in-blood scenes.

▼Even if you hate the movie, you must watch it for these scenes▼

Now, the bad stuff:

>>>Uninspired and somewhat ridiculous dialogue is peppered throughout the whole movie. I have seen better dialogue on Power Rangers.

>>>Action scenes were seriously lacking. In a vampire film, I expect matrixy, underworldish, blade style action.  Effing Twilight (the first movie) had better action that this.  The film really really needed some Asian guy to come in and beef up the action choreography.  It was shitty.

>>>There was no real 'fright' or scare moment. This isn't really horror. Its simply a nod to vampire fans, that's it. You can see an attempt is made to scare you, and my three year old would probably get scared, if I let him watch (not happening), but no one over the age of five would call this a 'scary movie.'

>>>The lame attempts at comedy fell flat.  Even if its not scary, and the dialogue sucks, and the action scenes look like they were filmed by high school kids doing a project, I still expect to have at least one laugh-out-loud moment.  Not.

So, really, the only reason to see this movie is Gerri:

 

Gerri – Elisabeth Bathory – carries the film, limping along, and makes it all worthwhile.  Somebody give this woman a medal for salvaging an underbudgeted, cheesy vampire flick.

And here's one more, because the cover art is so phenomenal, much better than the film:

THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS ~ A Review of the Film #TheMortalInstruments #Fantasy #ASMSG

 

I couldn't wait to see this film.  Back when I heard they were making a movie, like most people, I thought this will be the next Twilight~Harry~Potter film franchise. 

  

Maybe.

Critics reviews are tearing the film apart.  And sadly, I can see some of their points.  

Did I enjoy the movie?  YES. Would I go to see a sequel?  YES.  I would gladly go to see all the sequels for the entire series.  I don't give a crap what any critic says, its an entertaining film.

But, I read the first three books in the series back in 2009.  And I loved the books.  I am a die-hard fan of Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Romance.  Its my guilty pleasure to lose myself in these books and films.

Here's the tally of the Mortal Instruments series:

Vampires √

Werewolves √

Shadowhunters √

Demons √

Warlocks √

Witches √

Magic Spells √

Teleportation portals √

Nephilim (Angel/human hybrid) √

*Unfortunately, there are no zombies - they don't exist. 

OK, now for my review:

The film had wonderful character development.  We are given time to know each of these members of the rather large cast.  The special effects came little by little, piecemeal, gradually sprinkled into the film at precisely the right timing.  Not too much, not too little, they didn't rely on the special effects to carry the story.

The cast was well chosen, mostly.  Each character fit quite well with my perception of these characters from the novels, with one exception:  Jace (Jonathan). 

In the books, Jace is an exceptionally gifted fighter.  He is revered by the shadowhunters for his skill in battle.  He is stronger than most men, and later in story you find out why - he was gifted a little something extra.  Physically he is well-built, very athletic looking.

Does this guy look athletic? 

 

No.

He looks gaunt. IMHO (In My Humble Opinion) their biggest mistake in this film was a casting error.  This dude does not carry the role of Jace very well.

Jace is obnoxious, sarcastic, impetuous, and a brawler.  The guy they cast for this role kinda looks like a punk. He's missing about 30 pounds of muscle and that athletic edge, that killer look.  He just doesn't have it.

My other complaint:  The romance has no kick, no emotional hook. I don't feel it.  I don't feel the connection between Clary and Jace.  Granted, its a fairly new romance, and there's too much going on in the story to really give enough time to focus on the romance.

Which is why this is Urban Fantasy, not Paranormal Romance. There is a difference.  

If you want to fill those 'Twilight' shoes, you need more romance.  Its needs more emotional tug.  Something is missing.

There was a scene, the one that all the critics are slamming:  The rooftop garden kiss.  That scene was okay, until the music came on.  This production has a dramatic action/fantasy soundtrack.  Except for that scene.  They dropped in a lame top 40 pop artist song, that really jarred me out of the moment.  That music had no business in the soundtrack to this film.  

The strengths of this movie are many! (despite all my whining)

I was enthralled, carried along, gripping my arm chairs, and everything made sense! None of it was lost in the screaming pace of the story. And I really cared what happened to virtually all the members of this rather large cast.  That is an accomplishment, to develop out all these characters in so little screen time. 

And, the film rode a very tight edge with the book.  BRAVO to the film-makers for toeing the line, and bringing us a movie that did justice to all those intricate little subplots in the book.  Critics are complaining about the fact the film stuck with all the story elements of the book.  But I can guarantee you fans of this novels series will appreciate how closely the film followed the book.

If you are a fan of Harry Potter, Twilight, Percy Jackson, or any other contemporary fantasy films and books, I recommend this film.  It has a few shortcomings, but overall, its a well made, entertaining film.

My rating 4 stars!  ★★★★