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Beginning this Monday, I am spending five days this week in a
professional sound studio recording my erotic sci/fi romance, Hers To
Command, for audio book. I'm totally over the moon...sorta.
I've always had a theatrical bent, and no, I don't mean I'm a drama
queen, though my sweetie and some very close friends might beg to
differ. I've had the lead in my high school plays and actually met my
hunky hubby doing summer stock dinner theatre. I'm
formally trained in voice and have sung for years--both solos and in
choirs and the odd community theatre musical. I figured, hey, I'm a
good reader. I can act a little. I've recorded excerpts for my books and
some of my fellow authors'. I'm not embarassed speaking or acting in
front of people. I can say, "fuck" and "cock" without blushing. This
will be a piece of cake! I'll save all sorts of money. I'll be able to
put the proper dramatic emphasis on all my characters' lines. I won't
mispronounce their names or the places in the story. Just an all-around
win!
I started preparing my "script" and reading it aloud to mark places where I wanted to breathe and places where I didn't want to breathe--and then I heard the words I wrote spoken.
"Between tortured animal grunts, Doral whispered, “Oh Goddess, oh Goddess!” repeatedly. His engorged, be-ringed cock, glistening with Fleur's slickness, violently jerked against his flat stomach then strained away. Doral hung in the middle of an intense, dry orgasm, driven
to the point of madness. The gold cockrings glowed with dull light,
cruelly sunk deep into the base of his cock and balls."
Gulp. Ah...that's a little graphic. Geeze Louise...who wrote that?
All of a sudden, my confidence is taking a trip south. I'm not sure I'm prepared to read my erotic romance to male audio techs, even though my publisher assures me they are, like, guys, okay! I mean what guy doesn't like to listen to hot sex?
It's one thing to write the words. I don't see the reader. They can't see me. There are layers of privacy between us. But it's different when you are reading your work aloud. It's immediate intimacy. There are no veils. [I did ask if I could show up at the studio in a burqa. No, I was told. It (the burqa) would alter the sound quality. Sigh.]
There are a large group of folks out in the world who do this as a profession. I think it's called "voice over". My hat's off to them. Between trying out various voices for my dozens of characters--why, oh, why, didn't I write this in first person--and trying to take a big enough breath to get that whole line in without gasping ... I have bitten off quite a large mouthful and it's proving difficult to chew. It's sort of like being in an x-rated movie and you get to play all the parts and make the all sound effects.
I will be blogging my virgin flight into the world of audio books this week and sharing my exhilarations and embarassments with you. You are invited to laugh and learn right along with me.
My next installment: Day one - Etiquette for Sound Studios ~or~ Don't Touch the Microphone!
