Have you misplaced your modifiers?
Do your participles dangle?
Do
you feel your editors and readers are laughing at you behind your back? Are
your scenes of dramatic climax causing your critique partners to dissolve in
gales of hilarity? Well, come see Dr. Editor and let’s look at your dangling
participles and misplaced modifiers.
“I
didn’t know my modifiers had wandered,” you said. “What IS a dangling
participle?” you ask.
There
have been reams written in English grammar texts about participial phrases –
present participial phrases, past participial phrases – please read them. But
if it sounds like so much gibberish, step into my office and hop up on the
table. My job as Dr. Editor is to guide you to a healthy manuscript in language
EVERYONE can understand.
Do you need to know what aspirin is to have it cure
your hangover?
No.
I’m
going to remove the mystique. So here, down and dirty, is all you need to know
about participial phrases:
·
It is a group of words
(a phrase) that are meant to modify a noun (person, place or thing) that is the
subject or object of your sentence. The phrase will commonly
begin with a verb (action word) with an “ing” ending or an “ed” ending.
BUT! BEWARE! A participial
phrase clings like white cat hair on a black suit to the closest
noun.
And
this, my dear patient, is the crux of the problem. This is what results in
those hilarious dangling bits. Here are a few choice examples. I have
underlined the participial phrase for you.
·
The
burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5' 10", with wavy hair weighing
about 150 pounds.
.
. . now, I’m thinking this fellow has some serious hair . . .
Okay. What did the writer mean
to say? (In this case from a police report that was unintentionally funny.) He
meant the burglar weighed about 150
pounds. BUT that pesky present participial phrase clung to the closest noun – hair.
This is how the sentence should
have been written:
Weighing about 150 pounds, the
burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5’10", with wavy hair.
·
Hunting
can also be dangerous, as in the case of pygmies hunting elephants armed
only with spears. . . . um, yeah. I’d say if the elephants are armed
with spears they are definitely dangerous.
Again, what did the reporter mean to say? He meant the pygmies were armed only with spears when
hunting elephants. BUT that pesky past participial phrase clung to the closest
noun – elephants.
You
can go wrong with more than participial phrases. Here are a few examples of
misplaced modifiers. Find them and then
find the closest noun and you will have identified your problem.
·
We
spent most of our time sitting on the back porch watching the cows playing
Scrabble and reading. Methinks those are
well-educated cows!
What
the sentence should have said was:
We
spent most of our time sitting on the back porch playing Scrabble, reading and
watching the cows.
In order to “fix” it, all you need do is move
the wandering modifier closer to the noun it modified, “time”.
Stripped to its basics this is the sentence:
We spent time sitting.
Here
are the modifiers:
Where
did we spend time? Prepositional phrase: “on the back porch”
How
much did we spend? Qualifier: “most of our”
In
what way we spend time sitting? Gerund: reading and participial phrases:
playing Scrabble and watching cows.
This
example was a little tricky because you have a gerund operating as a noun, “sitting”. (Don’t worry about what a
gerund is, just think “action” words ending with “ing” that take on other roles).
Just remember, identify what you are describing – almost always a person, place
or thing – and don’t let your modifiers wander too far or you will have
unintended hilarity.
One
last example:
·
Organ
donations from the living reached a record high last year, outnumbering donors
who are dead for the first time. Do they
have donors who are dead for the second time?
Here we have an example of a
misplaced prepositional phrase: “for the first time”. What the writer meant to
say was:
Last year, for the first time,
organ donations from the living reached a record high and outnumbered those
from donors who are dead.
And yes,
you will accuse me of rewriting, but
I want my verbs to “parallel”. Here is your sentence stripped of all modifiers:
Donations reached and
outnumbered. Full stop. Everything else is
modification.
So,
there you have it, my lovely patients. Tuck those dangling bits back where they
belong. Round up those wandering modifiers and put them as close to what they
modify as an alcoholic is to his bottle and go forth to create healthy
manuscripts!
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“Dr. Editor”
is also known as Patricia A. Knight, erotic romance author of the Verdantia Series:
------------------------------------------ ♂♀♂ --------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------ ♂♀♂ --------------------------------------------
Patricia A. Knight is the pen name for an
eternal romantic who lives in Dallas, Texas surrounded by her horses, dogs and
the best man on the face of the earth – oh yeah, and the most enormous
bullfrogs you will ever see. Word to the wise: don’t swim in the pool after
dark.
I love to hear from my readers and can be
reached at http://www.trollriverpub.com/ or http://www.patriciaaknight.com. Or send me an email at patriciaknight190@gmail.com. Check out my latest “Hunk of the Day,” book
releases, contests and other fun stuff on my face book page: https://www.facebook.com/patricia.knight.71619
If you enjoyed Hers To Command, look for Sophi DeLorion’s story, Hers To Choose, coming out in mid-July 2013 and Steffania Rickard’s
tale, Hers To Cherish coming in
early August, 2013.
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CONTINUE READING TO PARTICIPATE IN GOODREADS GIVEAWAY OF SIGNED COPIES
------------------------------------------ ♂♀♂ --------------------------------------------
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Hers to Command
by Patricia A. Knight
Giveaway ends June 30, 2013.
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