I have been deep deep deep in editing of my own novels and those of my critique partners, specifically romance/erotica. My own writing style borders on the edge of erotica, so it stands to reason I should work with those authors to have my novels edited-critiqued.
One thing I noticed right away is that some authors use A LOT of anatomical references in their sex scenes. Words like: "flare of the glans", "areola", "hymen", the ever popular "clitorus", "labia", "pussy", and "vulva" (My kid once heard the word "vulva" from somewhere and asked Dad what's a vulva?).
I think these scenes sound sterile, goofy, even vulgar and unreal, when we start spouting off scientific terms in relation to erogenous zones.
Here's an example of my own particular perversity, a scene where I edited out the anatomical language from another author's book:
Before my edit: "Liquid fire pulsed in her nipples, pussy and clit"
After my edit: "Liquid fire pulsed across her nipples and down
between her inner thighs to the place where the burn of her swollen sex was
near unbearable"
Not one single piece of anatomy is named apart from "nipples", and yet we are all able to understand perfectly clear what this woman feels and where she is feeling it. I generally don't need to name off all the little fleshy parts or use any vulgar language to create arousal.
I realize there is more than one way to skin a cat, and I have enjoyed many a novel that delighted in the use of such vulgarities. But I chose not to write that way for my own novels. Is it a preference thing? Maybe. But I bet the majority agrees with me on this point.
In conclusion, I urge authors to carefully consider the use of anatomical language in an intimate scene. Try to edit it out when you can. Focus on the chemistry leading in, the heat of the moment. Write around the mechanics of flesh to infuse the act with passion and arousal.
Erotically yours,
Travis
There are two ways of having sex. Lovemaking is the first and can be slow and passionate or an urgent ' can't wait to get your clothes off'. The second is violent sex. In neither instance would the couple talk in clinical terms. Most readers know what the parts are and where they are. As long as you point them in the general direction the characters are heading, they can generally manage to get the gist without a road map.
ReplyDeleteSince lovemaking is supposed to generate a feeling of wellbeing I think the readers should share as much as the characters in terms of imagination, and after all that's what reading is all about, imagination unless you're reading how to strip down a car engine.
Well said. And yet, I have read many a novel where clinical terms are used regularly in the midst of intimacy. I find it ruins the moment.
ReplyDelete;)
I think it also is determined by the type of book and the personality of the characters. Romance is great and all but sometimes the reader wants to get down with the nit and gritty in the character's dialog but I agree that sometimes in the midst of a love scene, some particular words kind of throw you off.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have read some things in a sex scene that had me reaching for a dictionary. But I feel where your coming from, sometimes it feels alright to have a little nitty gritty. I have read some very hardcore erotica that does that very well.
ReplyDeleteBUT...I still feel, for my writing, I prefer to be more artful and less clinical. ;)
It's a fine line, I think. Sometimes it's important to name a body part for clarity or to avoid using a twee or cliched alternative, but too many clinical words is off putting.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's best to try using the words and phrases the characters would?
You make a good point. It is a fine line, I skirt that line constantly. How to refer to a body part or action without using vulgar terms that demean the romance and passion of the moment. You need a good romance/erotica editor to help. I try my best to write around certain things so the reader can apply their imagination at times.
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ReplyDeleteTravis, I've tagged you over on my blog. Hope you'll take part by answering a few questions about your next book.
ReplyDeleteVery well written! I agree, wholeheartedly. There's a time and a place for anatomically correct, but in the midst of a steamy love scene is not it. I find a lot of erotica language to be borderline filth, and have been told that mine is able to ride the line between naughty and sensual, which is what I go for. It's what sex should be, IMHO. :) Good post!
ReplyDeleteI agree! The "right" words in anatomy class are the "wrong" words to use in sex scenes...it can totally rip you out of the story!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I wanted to say thank you for supporting Erotic Enchants on goodreads.com! You are appreciated!
I was recently pointed to a fine-line distinction between erotic-romance and just straight erotica. I guess the former is on the lighter side of graphic, whereas the latter is graphic and typically vulgar. I think its safe to say that I write erotic-romance. :)
DeleteStopping by to say Hello and thank you from Erotic Enchants!
ReplyDeleteA suggestion of what is about to happen can more often than not be far more erotic than a clinical description. I agree totally and often skim through books that are too anatomical. Us women know all about the birds and the bees we do not need directions and a map, and if you blokes do need a map you are reading the wrong books!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. I wish more authors would take this route.
ReplyDeleteI too am stopping by from the Erotic Enchants group. Thank you for participating in the scavenger hunt.
Hi Travis - Visiting from Erotic Enchants - thanks for participating in the Holiday Events.
ReplyDeleteOne of the most erotic books I've read was Scandalous Lovers by Robin Schone. A delightful historical novel.
Coming over from Erotic Enchants group and I agree dont care for using only anatomical references eitheir. It shows the author have little creativity and imagination.
ReplyDeleteAnd another two books get added to my TBR list thanks to erotic enchants!
ReplyDeleteThanks for being part of the fun and games.
I'm also from the Erotic Enchants Group. Thanks for playing along! Happy Holidays!
ReplyDeleteThanks from EE!
ReplyDeleteI am in the majority who agrees with you. I feel like it completely rips me from the story. I will more than likely NOT use correct and vulgar terms, unless it is a character saying it to BE vulgar. Otherwise, pass. I almost think that it fits in with describing and showing versus telling. In a way, being so direct is telling me. I want to FEEL it.
ReplyDeleteTravis,
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this. I am messing around with a concept of mixing genres—hardcore sci-fi with erotica—and in writing my sex scenes I am wondering is "too much" or "too little" and so forth. First erotica. I chose not to read any just to see how it compared after. Your post has been very helpful. My sense is, if a character is raunchy, and narrative is from their perspective/pov then raunchy would be appropriate, otherwise keep it proper sexy. That seem like the goal?
~Chris
When writing a character who's raunchy, then their dialogue would be the same. The question is, how far do you go with descriptive language?
DeleteIt seems the answer lies in whether you're writing Erotica or Erotic Romance. Erotica is more explicit in the description of all those wonderful little fleshy parts. Erotic Romance tends to be on the lighter side, less raunchy, basically "Hot" romance. I try to stick with Erotic Romance because it has the broadest readership. Erotica readers enjoy it, as do romance readers and many others.
Having said all that, I do tend to get a little violent in my sex scenes. Might have to do another blog post on that particular issue.
My Nightlife Series novels are highly sexual and violent, and occasionally violently sexual.
:)
For me, writing erotica has always been tough. I usually fall between the lines of cheesy and tasteless. I'm still trying to improve.
ReplyDeleteYou should be aware there is a bias against male writers of erotic fiction among certain female readers. They don't feel we can write this kind of thing. And yet there are tons of female authors who write M/M gay erotica. Go figure.
DeleteYou will have a bit of an uphill battle as a male author trying to establish yourself in erotic genres.
The only way I can gauge my own writing is via critiques. I have several erotica authors (women) who help me whack a few hunks off the old cheese block and add a little taste to my sex scenes.
:)
I absolutely agree with your view point. I have read some sex scenes and they are so clinical, it's comical. And I certainly do not want to laugh during such a passionate moment.
ReplyDeleteAs I finish up my first novel in this genre and thinking about the editing phase, I really really needed to read this post. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I totally agree. :)
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