Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Whats all this controversy of fantasy vs. reality in BDSM romance fiction? #Romance #ASMSG

Romance and Fantasy.

There’s a storm of controversy about fantasy vs. reality in romance, particularly in BDSM romance. Certainly, we all have our opinions about what is good and what isn’t.
I enjoy writing and reading books with alpha heroes and elements of BDSM. I love the fantasies in these stories, but I don’t think they portray real-life relationships. I know that romance and all its subgenres is fiction. It’s fantasy.

My stories are fiction. They feature alpha males with varying degrees of sexual dominance, light to hardcore. Like most authors in this genre, I strive to make the physics as accurate as possible—a spanking still stings and cuffs can still chaff the skin. But I also take a bit of artistic license to make the fantasies larger than life. The heroes themselves are often larger than life, perhaps their financial success and physical attractiveness enhanced. It’s part of the fantasy.

Fun to read? Absolutely. But not the norm in reality. I read a statistic that the average male penis is about five inches long—but I’ve yet to read a romance with a hero who is average in that department. We love those hunky, well-endowed heroes.

Of course, romance books aren’t about the real world. They aren’t intended as instruction or “how to” manuals. Romance is entertainment. Like movies and games. It’s a fun, sexy escape from everyday stress or ho-hum.  

I think the majority of romance writers endeavor to treat elements such as safety and consent realistically (especially in BDSM titles) while fulfilling the fantasy for readers. That is not to say there aren’t stories with elements of dubious or non-consent, but most of these have pointed disclaimers and warnings in the front material. Also, there’s usually line or two that emphasizes the story is not about real life. Something like: “This is a work of fiction. Names, places, and events, etc. are made up or used fictitiously.”

To me, that applies to sexual situations as well.

One of my favorite disclaimers is the one Loose Id uses with its BDSM titles: “Please do not try any new sexual practice, especially those that might be found in our BDSM/fetish titles without the guidance of an experienced practitioner. Neither Loose Id LLC nor its authors will be responsible for any loss, harm, injury or death resulting from use of the information contained in any of its titles.”

In the real world, sex education (no matter what type of sex you’re interested in) is essential. Don’t skip the education, and always do your research. Read non-fiction. Learn from experts—and even then be careful.

I believe we should enjoy the wide and varied genre of romance for the fantastic entertainment it is, but always play safe in the real world.

Wishing you happy reading …and exciting fantasies.

Check out my Pinterest boards to see some the sexy images that inspire my stories.
NSFW, 18+ only

Book Genre: Romance/Hot Alpha Billionaire
Publisher: Troll River Publications
Release Date: February 14, 2015

Book Description:
Book One of the Hot Alpha Billionaire Series
Stand alone. Not a cliff-hanger. HEA. M/F, Mild D/s themes.
How does a sophisticated man with everything, convince an unassuming older woman with nothing, that she’s what he desperately needs?
At 36, Chase Tanner controlled his world and the women in his bed. With a grown son and several successful businesses, he thought he had everything a man could desire… until he walked down the aisle of a country hardware store and saw exactly what he needed for a happily-ever-after. Now, he
just had to make her believe it. 
”You’re just not good enough, Kali.”
Her ex-husband’s hurtful words echoed in Kali Benson’s heart as she rebuilt her life in tiny Laketon, Washington. It took some time, but at 39, she’s happy, self-sufficient, and emotionally armored. She’s strong enough to resist a sweet-talking hunk, who drives an old Dodge truck and makes her feel nineteen again... isn't she?

Chase took the shortest route to the auto accessories area and cut through the carpentry section. He turned down the aisle and his steps slowed. Fuses, old trucks, everything, dropped off the radar as his gaze focused on the woman perusing the locks-and-hinge display.
Sweet. There was something incredibly sweet and alluring about her. More than pretty, she was arresting. His heart did a drum roll against his ribs, and he drew in a deep, stabilizing breath.
Easing to a stop a few steps away, he positioned himself near the opposite side of the aisle as if he were interested in something other than her. Not the most inspired tactic, but he needed a moment to process her intense effect on him.
In profile, she had a straight, refined nose, full lips, and a balanced chin. Thick, golden-brown hair shimmered in glossy layers past her shoulders, styled with a fringe of bangs across her dark, tawny brows.
When she pulled an item from the display, he noticed she kept her nails a short, practical length, and she wore no wedding ring.
His eyes drifted down her slender length, admiring her lush, handful-size breasts and the pert nipples that dimpled against her knit top. She had a slim waist, gently rounded hips, and a great curvy ass, temptingly displayed in a pair of distinctive cutoffs. They were distinctive to him, at least. Although she’d removed the label, he recognized Soft Wear jeans and understood what the brand signified.
This little beauty might not want anyone in Laketon to know, but if she bought those jeans, she harbored at least some sexually submissive desires.
In a sudden, vivid image, he pictured her in his bed, her body pinned beneath him, his hands holding hers against the mattress. He imagined her thighs around his hips. The first intimate touch of his cock to her sex. Her mouth parted, gasping when he shifted deeper.
The fantasy jolted him.
He flinched and she turned her head.
Large, topaz eyes danced over him, and she smiled distractedly, the merest civility necessary, before returning her attention back to the shelves. He’d been dismissed. There was nothing haughty or superior about it, but apparently she’d found him unsuitable.
A grin tugged on his mouth. He enjoyed a challenge.

Author Bio:

Marilyn lives in the northwest U.S., not too far from the Canadian border, and believes the long, cold winters are perfect “writing weather.”
She started writing romantic, sex-driven stories “just for fun” seven years ago. Today, she’ll joyously admit she’s obsessed with creating hard-core dominant heroes and happily-ever-after endings.
Visit Marilyn at

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1 comment:

  1. I agree that all romance is fantasy. HEA is never guaranteed in life, and neither is a well hung hero. ;) I think the JOY in reading and writing romance is that fantasy element, sometimes it's heavy, sometimes it's only certain elements.

    Disclaimers are good though. I remember when the big thing was, is it an erotic authors responsibility to make sure everyone uses condoms in their stories. My opinion, not my job to teach sex ed. If you're old enough to be reading my stories, you should be old enough to know to use a condom..and know that relationships don't always work in life like they do in books. Still, I include a disclaimer because sometimes you just have to state the obvious because it isn;t always obvious to everyone. ;)

    Good post.