The NightLife: Editing Advice

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Dangers of Overindulgence

-OR-

A prescription for a lean, mean manuscript.

There are empty calories for people and there are empty calories for manuscripts. For people there are foods that only up the fat or sugar content while providing no nutrients. For manuscripts, there are words that add nothing to the vitality, exposition or description of a manuscript and should be eliminated -- or like chocolate, indulged in sparingly. Here are some of my favorites:

Good
Nice
Really
Totally, Completely
Very, Extremely
That, There
Just
Thing
Many, Few
Kind of
Have, Had, Get, Was, Is, Are, Were
Already
Almost
Then
Finally
Suddenly
A lot, Some
Felt, Feel
Big, Large, Small
Well
Like

The above list is an incomplete, generic list of words that are the potato chips of the writing world. Empty description, no nutritive value. I am certain you can add to this list. Eliminate or reduce their use.

In every genre, genre-specific words abound prompting the writer into over-indulgence. Since I write erotic romance here are some of my favorite over-indulgences: erotic, thrust, sensation, hot and, um, certain slang descriptions for the male and female genital area. Consumed sparingly, these words add clear description and atmosphere. Overused . . . okay, my writing puts on a few pounds and prompts my readers to point and giggle.

So make selective word choices and eliminate the empty calories.

Chocolate is SEXY, if you're naked and swimming with Heidi Klum

What are your favorite empty words?

Next week: What did you say? Those pesky dialog tags.

Healthy writing! ~*~ Dr. Editor, Manuscript Doctor

“Dr. Editor” is also known as Patricia A. Knight, erotic romance author.

Hers To Command – June 4, 2013

Patricia A. Knight is the pen name for an eternal romantic who lives in Dallas, Texas surrounded by her horses, dogs and the best man on the face of the earth – oh yeah, and the most enormous bullfrogs you will ever see. Word to the wise: don’t swim in the pool after dark.

I love to hear from my readers and can be reached at http://www.trollriverpub.com/ or http://www.patriciaaknight.com. Or send me an email at patriciaknight190@gmail.com. Check out my latest “Hunk of the Day,” book releases, contests and other fun stuff on my face book page: https://www.facebook.com/patricia.knight.71619

If you enjoyed Hers To Command, look for Sophi DeLorion’s story, Hers To Choose, coming out in mid-July 2013 and Steffania Rickard’s tale, Hers To Cherish coming in early August, 2013.

Amazon US═► http://www.amazon.com/Hers-To-Command-Verdantia-ebook/dp/B00D5KVIV2

Amazon UK═► http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hers-To-Command-Verdantia-ebook/dp/B00D5KVIV2

Kobo ═► http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Hers-To-Command/book-LoFypcWro0-8c8sGOcl7fw/page1.html

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Prescription for a Healthy Manuscript

An Initial Prescription for a Healthy Manuscript

Part 1 of an ongoing series by Dr. Editor, M.D. (Manuscript Doctor):

Picture walking into a doctor’s office with an ailment and having the learned professional say, “Yeah, you are sick.”

“Well, yes,” you say, “that’s why I’m here, but what is wrong with me and how do I get better?”

You don’t want to hear, “Haven’t a clue and here’s your bill.”

This is what happens when critiques don’t tell the writer the “whys” behind all those red lines. They indicate the “sickness” but don’t come through with a “prescription” for wellness. Don’t go to that doctor anymore. Get a good one.

As an editor, my job is to ‘cure the patient.’ Get him back to wellness so that he can be a healthy individual. Run fast, jump far. Or in this case, make the New York Times Best Seller List. Notice I didn’t say make him over with replacement parts of my choosing.

In order to do that, I need to give my patient an action list for how to get, and stay, healthy. For example, feeling lethargic, bored? Has life just lost its zip? Let me see your verbs. Are they action verbs, full of strength and vitality? Or are you stifled by energy-robbing passive voice and weighed down with was’es and “had’s”?

Now that I have examined your verbs, let me see your adverbs . . . all those words with the “ly” endings like quietly, softly, urgently. As they say in poker, “That is a tell.” And my patients should never “tell.” My patients should only “show.” My patients don’t live happily. My patients walk around with a smile on their face and a bounce to their step and hum the soundtrack to Iron Man II.

Now you tell me, which description created a better picture in your mind?

Are people laughing at you behind your back?

Let’s take a look at your chronically misplaced participial phrases and overwrought modifiers. Do you have everyone in the State of Texas coming over to Aunt Judy’s for barbeque when you really mean that you are barbequing at Aunt Judy’s just like everyone else in the State of Texas? And then there is your habitual abuse of adjectives. To remain healthy, please only use two at a time. It is easy to OD. The little devils are terribly addictive. Pick your two favorite. Delete the rest. Modifiers, when misused or overused, create a comedic atmosphere in your text. Great for farce. Death for thriller, drama, horror or romance.

So here is my initial prescription for action points to start to create a healthy manuscript:

Do a self-examination of your verbs. Every time you find “was” “is” “had” “has” “have” – examine the sentence. Can you rewrite it with a verb of action?
Scour your text for the “ly” endings. Take them out. Figure out a way to write that sentence with a description that allows the reader to figure out for themselves if your character spoke quietly or moved urgently.
Remember that the modifier, be it a phrase or a single word, should follow immediately after or immediately precede what is being modified. This makes for some awkward sentences if the phrases are too complex. In which case, fall back and KISS. Keep It Simple Stupid.
When you are tempted to have a golden, fragrant, waist-length, wind-blown, curling mane – STOP! Back up. Pick your favorite two and go with it.